Weather in Turkey – The Unofficial Guide to the Summer Months

All over Turkey are evident signs that summer is coming. For me, this is a welcome relief because for the last five months I have taken to wearing two jumpers and walking around like the Antarctic Circle landed in my living room.

The signs of summer have put a huge smile on my face and with this in mind; I have put together a little guide of what you can expect from the weather of Turkey in summer 2011.

Disclaimer – The weather report below is based on my own experiences and should be used as  a guideline only and not the gospel truth.  Do not blame me if it rains continually during your holiday. Do not take my name in vain if you end up with a huge sunburn blister on your nose. Do not contact me if you end up in hospital with sunstroke and think I should pay your bills. I am stony broke, have not got a penny to my name and you should have holiday insurance anyway.

My Turkey Weather Guide

April – The sun comes out to play and you can walk around in a t-shirt and shorts but don’t jump into the swimming pool yet unless you have nerves of steel. I normally spend a lazy day sitting in the sun drinking cold beers; however the winter months have made me forget the expert advice to drink plenty of water. Hence I stumble back home with a cracking headache and then feel sick for the next two days.  Night time is still rather chilly so don’t forget to pack your jumpers.

May – Officially summer now starts and tourists are heading out by the plane load. One glance around the beach and you will see more flesh on show than at the Miss World contest. Unfortunately my cellulite prevents me from taking part in this beauty competition so you will find me sat on my balcony lathering on tanning acceleration oil, while reading about miracle cellulite removal creams. Mosquitoes have also sniffed the signs of summer and are starting to rear their ugly head. I start to drink tonic water by the bucket load which contains quinine which keeps mosquitoes at bay.

June – The Turks also start to take their summer holidays in this month so if you can find an empty square foot on the beach, grab it otherwise stick to lying around the swimming pool. I work in a hotel in the summer and normally have a large stock of natural yogurt to deal with all those pasty faced tourists who do not head my warnings and end up as red as a lobster. Yes, handy tip if you did not know it. The best remedy for sunburn is natural yogurt.

July – Now is when the temperature really turns up. Think of when you roast a chicken in the oven for Sunday lunch and that is the equivalent of sunbathing in this weather. Definitely don’t forget your deodorant otherwise you will find yourself with a very small group of social friends. The evening time is long and warm and meal times will see you opting for salads otherwise you will be dripping sweat into your starter, main course and desert.

August – August will see me draped over my desk moaning about how hot it is and it should be against the human rights act to make anyone work in this weather. This is the time of year when I start thinking that the Spanish had their head screwed on when they invented the siesta. I have normally gone through 50 pairs of sunglasses at this point and if I am not wearing them, I am walking around with a permanent squint.

September – Always sees my husband in a bad mood because the electric bill has come in and he has figured out that I have the air con on 24 hours a day, seven days a week. I ignore his ranting and raving and make an appointment at the hairdressers to get my hair cut short. In fact the weather is that hot, I wished I could carry off the Demi Moore bold look. Not long to go however because at the end of September we start to see a drop in temperatures.

October – This month is perfect for those that hate high temperatures. In fact look around at all the tourists and they are all grannies and granddads. Grannies that are going through a mid-life crisis can normally be spotted chasing young Turkish men all around the resort. Ex-pats that have spent the summer months in Turkey now have leathery skins that resemble the hide of a cow. Night time is drawing in earlier now and it is time to get those jumpers out again.