Readers : I wrote this post over three years ago. All of it still applies and I stand by what I have written. However you may also be interested in my latest post regarding Turkish men called “My Turkish Love Letter” (November 2013)
Turkish Men and Holiday Romances
Turkish Men are once again causing heartache all over the globe. Every year, thousands of foreign women enter Turkey and strike up a holiday romance. For some, the holiday romance does not work out and they move on. Others however can not accept the holiday romance for what it was. They join Turkish Love Rats and make it the focus of their Facebook page. They start free blogs slating off every Turkish man they know and then join numerous amounts of forums to declare to the world that all Turkish men are sleazeballs and should never be trusted.
So when thinking about Turkish men, I type this post in despair. From today, I am sending out a strong message to all women travelers or tourists. Do not get involved in a holiday romance with a Turkish man simply because you can not handle it. I don’t want to read your blog, like your Facebook page or meet you on a forum. Stereotyping the whole male race of a nation simply because of your failed holiday romance is OTT and on the verge of bunny boiling.
The fact is that there are plenty of mixed relationships between Turkish men and foreign women that work perfectly well. I can however tell you the top three reasons why a holiday romance did not work out.
1 – You live in two different countries. Now, it does not take a rocket scientist to work out that when you live in two different countries, the odds are stacked against you. Any man can have an affair even if he lives in the same house as you, so why do you think he is going to be honest when he lives in a different country?
If you are dating one of the many Turkish men who break women’s hearts, then don’t call him the love of your life when you live in two different countries. It is what it is, a holiday romance, even if you return six times a year to see him. If you both want to take the romance further, then one of you has to move countries.
2 – There are two different cultures joining here. Unfortunately most of the relationships that I have seen fail, is because the women wants to keep 100% of her culture and the Turkish man wants to keep 100% of his Turkish culture. For it to work, both of you has to meet in the middle and give something up. Yes, his mother will always come before you, get over it! As for him, he has to accept that you do and always will eat pork.
3 - If you can not spot a sleazeball then your life skills really need tuning up. Remember, that a lot of girls let their hair down on holiday and are somewhat more trusting then they are in their hometowns. Some of the signs that he is a sleazeball are
- He tells you that he loves you when you are older than his mother
- He asks you for money.
- He makes a move on you in the first night.
- He introduces you as a friend
- He hides you from his friends
- He runs away to the toilet when his phone rings
If you want to visit Turkey and fall in love with a Turkish man, then be prepared for a life changing experience. If it works out, then I am happy for you, if it does not work out, then please publish tales of your failed holiday romance with Turkish men somewhere else than the internet.
Further Reading about Turkey
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Learning about the culture and traditions
Photos from around Turkey
Meeting people from around the country